This was all wrong.
This couldn’t be happening. Not to me.
All because of him and I didn’t even know him.
I closed my eyes hoping this would just be a dream and when I opened them again it was all gone.
I still couldn’t believe in what had happen.
How had I let it happen? Im a man!
Men do NOT like other men. Especially not me!
The past night came back to me like a bad movie you can’t stop watching.
He came up to me.
He had a beautiful smile and his big blue eyes were shimmering under the club lights.
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
He asked for a tequila shot and drank it like it was just water.
Then he turned back to me and kissed me. FRENCH KISSED me!
But the surprising thing was that I kissed back!
ME! Tom Kaulitz!
Someone knocked at the door.
- Yes? – I said opening one of my eyes.
- Tommy! Can I come in?
- Yeah sure. – I said.
Bill opened the door slowly letting the light invade the room.
The sun light was of a bright white that burned its way to my eyes.
He walked and seated next to me in the bottom of the bed.
- What is it? – he asked now with a concerned look in his face.
- Nothing. – I said not taking my head out of the sheets.
- Tom! I’m your twin I know there’s something wrong.
- Don’t worry with me. – I took a deep breath then restarted the conversation - Don’t you have something to draw, write or sing at?
- Tom you can try to hide all you want but I will find out what’s happening. – he said with a fatherly tone that scared the shit out of me.
- There’s nothing to tell. – I lied softly.
It was just another lie, like the many i said almost every day. To the press, to Jost and to the girls that ended up in my bed, but at the same time it was completely different. It burdened in my lip, it stabbed my tongue.
After all it was Bill I was lying to. My baby brother, the other half of my soul. I had never lied to him, and i knew it was wrong keeping this from him.
I could feel the pain in his eyes, the desire to relive my hurt.
- So don’t tell me. – he said getting up – when your all eaten up inside I’ll still be here ready to hear you Tom. – he said right before he closed the door in his way out of my cold empty room.
