Here I was once again.
Was in really this dumb that I would put it all in danger once more?
The only answer in y head was a faint, unwanted yes.
Why am I still here?
I tried to turn around but my body wouldn’t obey the reason in my brain.
“Damn it!” I whisper to myself.
I look around and the night is coming closer.
I should just leave, this was nothing but a big mistake.
If I know this is all true why won’t I just turn around, its oblivious he isn’t coming.
Then I start to hear faint footsteps behind me.
Could it be?
A weak smile, yet full of hope spreads thru my cold face.
Only then my body obeys the previous orders and turns around only to see a stranger pass by.
“FUCK!” I almost shout.
I must be the most stupid person in the whole freaking world.
Anger starts to fill my insides, preparing me for something I don’t want, to face the cruel truth, he is not going to show up, he stud me up.
Oh that’s it, I come here for a month and he does this to me.
I should have learned the first time this happened, not the fifth.
I finally walk away from that damned place.
Then out of nowhere two sizzling hands cover my eyes.
“guess who?” that sweet voice asks.
God I feel like melting and I haven’t seen his face yet.
Wait there a second I’m supposed to be mad at him, he left me here for an hour and half.
“I don’t care Andy” I say walking away.
That’s it good girl keep going and you’ll leave this situation with some dignity.
“Please April let me explain!” he comes running after me.
“You’re too little too late, I’m leaving tomorrow and I just don’t care”
I close the door of the car and drive off.
quinta-feira, 24 de junho de 2010
domingo, 6 de junho de 2010
The shades of love (Final Chapter)
Chapter 6: Last Chance
As the sky started to turn into light tones of blue and white she saw above her the hope vanish with the fading stars.
As every painful memory flooded her numb brain, making everything feel darker, agonizing.
Everything seemed so fresh yet so distant.
The images teasing her weak body.
How love felt, how she missed him…
Flashback
She fell on the bed with a silent moan escaping her locked lips.
The way he smiled made shivers go thru her spine.
The way his ice cold piercing felt against her sun like skin, just teasing her, it was pure torture.
As he made his mouth run thru her neck, down her chest leaving a sweet trail of kisses.
With every kiss he gave, a moan escaped from her lips.
He slowly grabbed her by the hips and pulled her closer to him.
In response she moaned softly.
The way his lips touched her pearl skin, the tingly sensation of his cold metal lip ring sent her to heaven and hell.
He looked at her half naked body and smiled.
He could only think of how perfect she was and how lucky he was to have her by his side.
He softly lied on top of her nibbling on her hear lob.
“love you” he softly whispered in her hear as he went into the young girl.
End of flashback
She smiled in pure pleasure of that memory of not so long ago.
Yet everything had changed since then, since Stef had given herself to
Tom.
The sun was starting to show itself on the horizon.
The bright orange light blinded the oldest sister.
What could she do? She knew she had to tell her what had happened… yet she was afraid of what the truth would do.
She glanced one last time at the colorful sky.
Flashback
Stef was alone at home.
There was a soft knock on the door.
Who could it be? She wasn’t expecting anyone.
Probably Mimi had forgotten her keys again.
“I swear that girl would lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her body” she said laughing.
She walked up to the door, but once she opened it she was surprised.
“Officer?” she asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
“hello mam. I would like to talk to Mrs. Kaulitz” he said in a cold stone voice.
“I’m Mrs. Kaulitz” she said even more worried.
“well I’m sorry for having to say this but your brother-in-law died yesterday.” He said not able to look her in the eyes.
“Bill died…?” she asked tears started to form behind her eye lids.
The policeman nodded.
“How?” she asked trying to keeps the tears away.
“He was shot by what seems to be a deranged fan.” The man said again in the same voice that sent cold shivers thru the girls spin.
“And my husband?” she asked even more worried.
“He is alive and well…”
End of flashback
She tenderly shook Mimi.
“Emilia time to wake up…” she said in a motherly voice.
“its 6 in the morning” the younger girl complained with her eyes still closed.
“Please Emilia I have to tell u something” she said with a gentle tone.
Mimi immediately opened her eyes.
“Stef is everything ok?” she asked worried.
“Not really…”
“Stef what’s going on?” the younger sister asked even more worried.
“Bill is dead…” the girl looked down.
The reflection of pure pain on Mimi’s eyes turned into diving tears.
Stabbing, killing, uncaring tears ran their way down Emilia’s face.
“How?! How could that have happened?”
“There was this girl that tried to shoot Tom, but Bill put himself in front of Tom.” Stef said now crying too.
The tears now flooded both girls.
Pain the only image on that fluttered in that room.
“What will I do now?!” Mimi screamed arms around her chest.
She felt like it was breaking into pieces and falling apart.
All she could do now was trying to keep it together.
Stef looked at her younger sister.
It killed her seeing her falling like that. With an aura of dark, craving pain around her.
“its all going to be ok Emilia…” she said, not only trying to convince the other girl but her too.
Stef had also lost Bill, he had always seen him as a younger brother she needed to take care of, and now he was gone.
Mimi looked at the sky above both of them.
A silent tear fell down her face.
“Emilia, look at me this is going to be fine, we’re going to get thru this” Stef said hugging Mimi.
“Stef, he was the one… I can’t do this without him.” Mimi said looking down.
“You can, u still have me and Tom…”
“But I lost my Bill forever!” she said crying once again.
“You’re going to get thru this; we’re going to get thru this together”
Mimi couldn’t believe those words.
How could she go on when she had lost the most important thing in her life? How could she move on when she had already had the best?
Those questions hunted her burning soul.
She just wanted it all to end, to be with him again, and forever.
She would have done anything for him and now he was gone.
Then a sudden spark of hope ran thru her eyes.
There was only one way for that to happen, for them to never be apart again.
She got up from the bed, which now seemed too big and empty.
She ran across the room and opened the door in such a hurry that it almost ripped it off.
She ran thru the dark, depressing halls to the door.
She ran up to the roof.
The light invading her depressing dreams of a better life where they could be together.
She slowly climbed to the edge of the glorious building.
“Emilia! Don’t do this! You don’t have to do that!”
“I just want to be with Bill, no matter what it takes” Mimi said in between the tears.
“you know Bill wouldn’t want this! He would like for you to move on, keep on living.”
“For what? My life without him is nothing but a black hole.”
“Don’t talk like that. Mimi you know this life is all we have don’t jump.”
“I’m sorry Stef I can’t.” a tear fell from her face.
She looked down to where now a group of people was starting to bottle up.
The strangers looking up at the young girl worried, amazed and intrigued.
Why would someone so young have the need to end their life? How could she stand there facing death?
Another black shadow appeared from behind Stef.
It was Tom, tears in his eyes.
“Emilia, don’t do this! This is exactly the opposite of what Bill would want you to do!”
“But he wouldn’t want be apart from me either!” she said crying so hard it was barely understandable.
She looked one last time to the sky.
The picture of him ran thru her every though.
I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long
Just take my hand
I'll gave you the chance
Don't jump
Don't jump
And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you
She silently said as she fell down, away from the pain, into his arms.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Im sorry stef )=
As the sky started to turn into light tones of blue and white she saw above her the hope vanish with the fading stars.
As every painful memory flooded her numb brain, making everything feel darker, agonizing.
Everything seemed so fresh yet so distant.
The images teasing her weak body.
How love felt, how she missed him…
Flashback
She fell on the bed with a silent moan escaping her locked lips.
The way he smiled made shivers go thru her spine.
The way his ice cold piercing felt against her sun like skin, just teasing her, it was pure torture.
As he made his mouth run thru her neck, down her chest leaving a sweet trail of kisses.
With every kiss he gave, a moan escaped from her lips.
He slowly grabbed her by the hips and pulled her closer to him.
In response she moaned softly.
The way his lips touched her pearl skin, the tingly sensation of his cold metal lip ring sent her to heaven and hell.
He looked at her half naked body and smiled.
He could only think of how perfect she was and how lucky he was to have her by his side.
He softly lied on top of her nibbling on her hear lob.
“love you” he softly whispered in her hear as he went into the young girl.
End of flashback
She smiled in pure pleasure of that memory of not so long ago.
Yet everything had changed since then, since Stef had given herself to
Tom.
The sun was starting to show itself on the horizon.
The bright orange light blinded the oldest sister.
What could she do? She knew she had to tell her what had happened… yet she was afraid of what the truth would do.
She glanced one last time at the colorful sky.
Flashback
Stef was alone at home.
There was a soft knock on the door.
Who could it be? She wasn’t expecting anyone.
Probably Mimi had forgotten her keys again.
“I swear that girl would lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her body” she said laughing.
She walked up to the door, but once she opened it she was surprised.
“Officer?” she asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
“hello mam. I would like to talk to Mrs. Kaulitz” he said in a cold stone voice.
“I’m Mrs. Kaulitz” she said even more worried.
“well I’m sorry for having to say this but your brother-in-law died yesterday.” He said not able to look her in the eyes.
“Bill died…?” she asked tears started to form behind her eye lids.
The policeman nodded.
“How?” she asked trying to keeps the tears away.
“He was shot by what seems to be a deranged fan.” The man said again in the same voice that sent cold shivers thru the girls spin.
“And my husband?” she asked even more worried.
“He is alive and well…”
End of flashback
She tenderly shook Mimi.
“Emilia time to wake up…” she said in a motherly voice.
“its 6 in the morning” the younger girl complained with her eyes still closed.
“Please Emilia I have to tell u something” she said with a gentle tone.
Mimi immediately opened her eyes.
“Stef is everything ok?” she asked worried.
“Not really…”
“Stef what’s going on?” the younger sister asked even more worried.
“Bill is dead…” the girl looked down.
The reflection of pure pain on Mimi’s eyes turned into diving tears.
Stabbing, killing, uncaring tears ran their way down Emilia’s face.
“How?! How could that have happened?”
“There was this girl that tried to shoot Tom, but Bill put himself in front of Tom.” Stef said now crying too.
The tears now flooded both girls.
Pain the only image on that fluttered in that room.
“What will I do now?!” Mimi screamed arms around her chest.
She felt like it was breaking into pieces and falling apart.
All she could do now was trying to keep it together.
Stef looked at her younger sister.
It killed her seeing her falling like that. With an aura of dark, craving pain around her.
“its all going to be ok Emilia…” she said, not only trying to convince the other girl but her too.
Stef had also lost Bill, he had always seen him as a younger brother she needed to take care of, and now he was gone.
Mimi looked at the sky above both of them.
A silent tear fell down her face.
“Emilia, look at me this is going to be fine, we’re going to get thru this” Stef said hugging Mimi.
“Stef, he was the one… I can’t do this without him.” Mimi said looking down.
“You can, u still have me and Tom…”
“But I lost my Bill forever!” she said crying once again.
“You’re going to get thru this; we’re going to get thru this together”
Mimi couldn’t believe those words.
How could she go on when she had lost the most important thing in her life? How could she move on when she had already had the best?
Those questions hunted her burning soul.
She just wanted it all to end, to be with him again, and forever.
She would have done anything for him and now he was gone.
Then a sudden spark of hope ran thru her eyes.
There was only one way for that to happen, for them to never be apart again.
She got up from the bed, which now seemed too big and empty.
She ran across the room and opened the door in such a hurry that it almost ripped it off.
She ran thru the dark, depressing halls to the door.
She ran up to the roof.
The light invading her depressing dreams of a better life where they could be together.
She slowly climbed to the edge of the glorious building.
“Emilia! Don’t do this! You don’t have to do that!”
“I just want to be with Bill, no matter what it takes” Mimi said in between the tears.
“you know Bill wouldn’t want this! He would like for you to move on, keep on living.”
“For what? My life without him is nothing but a black hole.”
“Don’t talk like that. Mimi you know this life is all we have don’t jump.”
“I’m sorry Stef I can’t.” a tear fell from her face.
She looked down to where now a group of people was starting to bottle up.
The strangers looking up at the young girl worried, amazed and intrigued.
Why would someone so young have the need to end their life? How could she stand there facing death?
Another black shadow appeared from behind Stef.
It was Tom, tears in his eyes.
“Emilia, don’t do this! This is exactly the opposite of what Bill would want you to do!”
“But he wouldn’t want be apart from me either!” she said crying so hard it was barely understandable.
She looked one last time to the sky.
The picture of him ran thru her every though.
I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long
Just take my hand
I'll gave you the chance
Don't jump
Don't jump
And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you
She silently said as she fell down, away from the pain, into his arms.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Im sorry stef )=
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