The Ghost of Past (Blur)

Here I was once again.
Was in really this dumb that I would put it all in danger once more?
The only answer in y head was a faint, unwanted yes.
Why am I still here?
I tried to turn around but my body wouldn’t obey the reason in my brain.
“Damn it!” I whisper to myself.
I look around and the night is coming closer.
I should just leave, this was nothing but a big mistake.
If I know this is all true why won’t I just turn around, its oblivious he isn’t coming.
Then I start to hear faint footsteps behind me.
Could it be?
A weak smile, yet full of hope spreads thru my cold face.
Only then my body obeys the previous orders and turns around only to see a stranger pass by.
“FUCK!” I almost shout.
I must be the most stupid person in the whole freaking world.
Anger starts to fill my insides, preparing me for something I don’t want, to face the cruel truth, he is not going to show up, he stud me up.
Oh that’s it, I come here for a month and he does this to me.
I should have learned the first time this happened, not the fifth.
I finally walk away from that damned place.
Then out of nowhere two sizzling hands cover my eyes.
“guess who?” that sweet voice asks.
God I feel like melting and I haven’t seen his face yet.
Wait there a second I’m supposed to be mad at him, he left me here for an hour and half.
“I don’t care Andy” I say walking away.
That’s it good girl keep going and you’ll leave this situation with some dignity.
“Please April let me explain!” he comes running after me.
“You’re too little too late, I’m leaving tomorrow and I just don’t care”
I close the door of the car and drive off.

The shades of love (Final Chapter)

Chapter 6: Last Chance


As the sky started to turn into light tones of blue and white she saw above her the hope vanish with the fading stars.
As every painful memory flooded her numb brain, making everything feel darker, agonizing.
Everything seemed so fresh yet so distant.
The images teasing her weak body.
How love felt, how she missed him…


Flashback


She fell on the bed with a silent moan escaping her locked lips.
The way he smiled made shivers go thru her spine.
The way his ice cold piercing felt against her sun like skin, just teasing her, it was pure torture.
As he made his mouth run thru her neck, down her chest leaving a sweet trail of kisses.
With every kiss he gave, a moan escaped from her lips.
He slowly grabbed her by the hips and pulled her closer to him.
In response she moaned softly.
The way his lips touched her pearl skin, the tingly sensation of his cold metal lip ring sent her to heaven and hell.
He looked at her half naked body and smiled.
He could only think of how perfect she was and how lucky he was to have her by his side.
He softly lied on top of her nibbling on her hear lob.
“love you” he softly whispered in her hear as he went into the young girl.


End of flashback


She smiled in pure pleasure of that memory of not so long ago.
Yet everything had changed since then, since Stef had given herself to
Tom.
The sun was starting to show itself on the horizon.
The bright orange light blinded the oldest sister.
What could she do? She knew she had to tell her what had happened… yet she was afraid of what the truth would do.
She glanced one last time at the colorful sky.


Flashback


Stef was alone at home.
There was a soft knock on the door.
Who could it be? She wasn’t expecting anyone.
Probably Mimi had forgotten her keys again.
“I swear that girl would lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her body” she said laughing.
She walked up to the door, but once she opened it she was surprised.
“Officer?” she asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
“hello mam. I would like to talk to Mrs. Kaulitz” he said in a cold stone voice.
“I’m Mrs. Kaulitz” she said even more worried.
“well I’m sorry for having to say this but your brother-in-law died yesterday.” He said not able to look her in the eyes.
“Bill died…?” she asked tears started to form behind her eye lids.
The policeman nodded.
“How?” she asked trying to keeps the tears away.
“He was shot by what seems to be a deranged fan.” The man said again in the same voice that sent cold shivers thru the girls spin.
“And my husband?” she asked even more worried.
“He is alive and well…”


End of flashback


She tenderly shook Mimi.
“Emilia time to wake up…” she said in a motherly voice.
“its 6 in the morning” the younger girl complained with her eyes still closed.
“Please Emilia I have to tell u something” she said with a gentle tone.
Mimi immediately opened her eyes.
“Stef is everything ok?” she asked worried.
“Not really…”
“Stef what’s going on?” the younger sister asked even more worried.
“Bill is dead…” the girl looked down.
The reflection of pure pain on Mimi’s eyes turned into diving tears.
Stabbing, killing, uncaring tears ran their way down Emilia’s face.
“How?! How could that have happened?”
“There was this girl that tried to shoot Tom, but Bill put himself in front of Tom.” Stef said now crying too.
The tears now flooded both girls.
Pain the only image on that fluttered in that room.
“What will I do now?!” Mimi screamed arms around her chest.
She felt like it was breaking into pieces and falling apart.
All she could do now was trying to keep it together.
Stef looked at her younger sister.
It killed her seeing her falling like that. With an aura of dark, craving pain around her.
“its all going to be ok Emilia…” she said, not only trying to convince the other girl but her too.
Stef had also lost Bill, he had always seen him as a younger brother she needed to take care of, and now he was gone.
Mimi looked at the sky above both of them.
A silent tear fell down her face.
“Emilia, look at me this is going to be fine, we’re going to get thru this” Stef said hugging Mimi.
“Stef, he was the one… I can’t do this without him.” Mimi said looking down.
“You can, u still have me and Tom…”
“But I lost my Bill forever!” she said crying once again.
“You’re going to get thru this; we’re going to get thru this together”
Mimi couldn’t believe those words.
How could she go on when she had lost the most important thing in her life? How could she move on when she had already had the best?
Those questions hunted her burning soul.
She just wanted it all to end, to be with him again, and forever.
She would have done anything for him and now he was gone.
Then a sudden spark of hope ran thru her eyes.
There was only one way for that to happen, for them to never be apart again.
She got up from the bed, which now seemed too big and empty.
She ran across the room and opened the door in such a hurry that it almost ripped it off.
She ran thru the dark, depressing halls to the door.
She ran up to the roof.
The light invading her depressing dreams of a better life where they could be together.
She slowly climbed to the edge of the glorious building.
“Emilia! Don’t do this! You don’t have to do that!”
“I just want to be with Bill, no matter what it takes” Mimi said in between the tears.
“you know Bill wouldn’t want this! He would like for you to move on, keep on living.”
“For what? My life without him is nothing but a black hole.”
“Don’t talk like that. Mimi you know this life is all we have don’t jump.”
“I’m sorry Stef I can’t.” a tear fell from her face.
She looked down to where now a group of people was starting to bottle up.
The strangers looking up at the young girl worried, amazed and intrigued.
Why would someone so young have the need to end their life? How could she stand there facing death?
Another black shadow appeared from behind Stef.
It was Tom, tears in his eyes.
“Emilia, don’t do this! This is exactly the opposite of what Bill would want you to do!”
“But he wouldn’t want be apart from me either!” she said crying so hard it was barely understandable.
She looked one last time to the sky.
The picture of him ran thru her every though.

I don't know how long
I can hold you so strong
I don't know how long
Just take my hand
I'll gave you the chance
Don't jump
Don't jump
And if all that can't hold you back
I'll jump for you

She silently said as she fell down, away from the pain, into his arms.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Im sorry stef )=

A Beautiful Twist Blur

This was all wrong.
This couldn’t be happening. Not to me.
All because of him and I didn’t even know him.
I closed my eyes hoping this would just be a dream and when I opened them again it was all gone.
I still couldn’t believe in what had happen.
How had I let it happen? Im a man!
Men do NOT like other men. Especially not me!
The past night came back to me like a bad movie you can’t stop watching.
He came up to me.
He had a beautiful smile and his big blue eyes were shimmering under the club lights.
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
He asked for a tequila shot and drank it like it was just water.
Then he turned back to me and kissed me. FRENCH KISSED me!
But the surprising thing was that I kissed back!
ME! Tom Kaulitz!
Someone knocked at the door.
- Yes? – I said opening one of my eyes.
- Tommy! Can I come in?
- Yeah sure. – I said.
Bill opened the door slowly letting the light invade the room.
The sun light was of a bright white that burned its way to my eyes.
He walked and seated next to me in the bottom of the bed.
- What is it? – he asked now with a concerned look in his face.
- Nothing. – I said not taking my head out of the sheets.
- Tom! I’m your twin I know there’s something wrong.
- Don’t worry with me. – I took a deep breath then restarted the conversation - Don’t you have something to draw, write or sing at?
- Tom you can try to hide all you want but I will find out what’s happening. – he said with a fatherly tone that scared the shit out of me.
- There’s nothing to tell. – I lied softly.
It was just another lie, like the many i said almost every day. To the press, to Jost and to the girls that ended up in my bed, but at the same time it was completely different. It burdened in my lip, it stabbed my tongue.
After all it was Bill I was lying to. My baby brother, the other half of my soul. I had never lied to him, and i knew it was wrong keeping this from him.
I could feel the pain in his eyes, the desire to relive my hurt.
- So don’t tell me. – he said getting up – when your all eaten up inside I’ll still be here ready to hear you Tom. – he said right before he closed the door in his way out of my cold empty room.

The Shades of Love

Chapter 5: The river of life




A small tear came from behind her eyes, as crystal as the stars above.
All she could think of was the sacrifices, the scares of that love that she still felt. Some showed in her bare wrists, others way too deep to see.
A smile drew in her face, a smile to hide the piercing pain she felt stabbing her cold chest.
In her eyes the uncaring image of death.
The silhouette of the horizon was starting to become of a blue-ish white.
The time was running out of her reach, the night starting to end.


Flashback


There they were once more.
On the top of the highest building of Sidney.
They could see the entire city from there.
From the blue mountains to the very end of the Port Jackson.
The lights of the city like little stars pleading to be catch.
She was sitting in Tom’s lap, their lips interlaced.
They couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t each other.
Then they started to hear, to see a million flashes all around.
The lights blinded them.
They couldn’t see where they came from, figure out how they got there, but there they were, blinding, stabbing, unstoppable.
Tom got up only to see them brighter, bigger.
The man screamed at them.
“Here!”
“ARE YOU TOGETHER?”
“FOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS RELASHION SHIP?”
“WHAT’S HER NAME?”


End of flashback


She wished she could go back and stop that from happening.
Every single event that they had veiled, now out in the open.
She could see the pain in Tom’s eyes.
She could feel the disappointment in Bill’s stare.
She just couldn’t stand the stabbing pain of discovery.
What she would never guess was what was coming next.
Who would actually guess Louis would have done what he did.



Flashback


Night took over the blue sky, now turning into shades of orange and pink.
Behind the sweet, dark veil of deception covered Louis pace.
No one knew what he was doing, not even he really knew it.
As he walked thru the half dark streets waiting for a cine for what to do next.
Then a hand came out of the dark, white as a ghost could be.
“Here.” A cold harsh voice said.
Louis followed the hand into a sinister building.
Inside was only a small light in the extreme corner of the ceiling, giving the room a somewhat hunted appearance.
There was only a black table with a black chair in the middle of the room.
“Here is what u asked for…” The man said putting a big fat brown envelope “Where’s my money?” the man asked in a brutal voice.
“Here!” he said throwing a thick envelope on to the table.
Louis grabbed the enveloped the other man had thrown and walking out of the dark ally.


End of Flashback


Betrail wasn’t the word for what he had done, not even close to it.
He went from their best, most, and single friend, to a cold, senseless dead body.
All she could think now was the simple fact that he was gone, gone from their lives, from their past, from their future.
A crystal clear tear ran down her marble pink cheek.
She missed him so much, not only Louis, but all of them, the band, tom…
Her thoughts trailed off into the deeps of its pain.


Flashback


As he got home he opened the envelope, inside were thousands of pictures of the sisters and Tom and Bill.
Everything that they had been fighting so hard to keep secret, ready to be spread.
He took out his lighter and carefully, one by one burned every single picture he had got.
He prayed that they would have been left alone.
With all the money he had gave to the photographer to keep quiet, to never say a soul about what he had found.
He just hopped it would all go away; go back to the time in the eager streets of Paris, where pain was nothing but a nightmare out of touch.


End of flashback


The pain of every word, of every shot, of every flash still burned on her bruised skin.
The fear never went away from her golden eyes, that seemed older with the responsibility they transmitted.
The responsibility of carrying the pain of a gone love, of a thought life, of an older sister.
Of hiding the truth from a pointless life.


Flashback


They ran down the busy streets of Milan.
Running from everything they feared, everything they couldn’t escape.
Louis was right behind them, trying to find ways out of that mess.
The countless paparazzi ran like wild lions after them.
As they ran Louis had an idea, nothing would be able to distract the paparazzi, unless a possible death.
He stopped in the middle of the street.
He thought of running away on the last second, but something that he wasn’t counting was scooters.
The cars stopped in front of him, but then out of every corner came scooters. With all the commotion he fell on to Navilgi (big river in Milan).
The girl ran back as they screamed from him.
Tears of pure, stabbing pain that carved their way on their chests
Screams of despair sang their way out of their suddenly empty chests.


End of flashback

The Shades of Love

Chapter 4: The Beam of night




Nothing seemed to be the same.
The way their life ran against the sun, as gravity didn’t have an effect in them anymore.
It was like the basic laws of physiques were nothing more than fairytales.
They would change anything just to be with them.
The light silhouettes of the threes remembered her of all those silent nights, unseen mornings.


Flashback


The girls came out of the truck, slowly stepping out making sure they didn’t do a sound.
No attentions turned to them, no whispers in their ears.
They had been doing this for almost 3 months now and they seemed to get better with every lie they told, every step they took.
A pleased, devious smile formed in Stef’s lips as soon as her foot first walked into the back of the hotel.
The creeping edge of adrenalin still on her veins.
In her thoughts the clean image of Tom.
Her smile grew in her strawberry red lips.
Mimi on the other hand couldn’t take the pressure to be hidden; she couldn’t understand why their love had to be concealed from everyone man else.
She wanted to walk up to the highest mountain and shout of their love.
Her heart pounded on her chest.
They slowly walked up the stairs waiting for the signal.
When they arrived at the 8th floor they finally saw it.
Kevin came up to them with a smile.
It was the first time the girls had ever seen him smile.
“Please this way.” He said gesturing to the hallway that extended behind him.
They let him lead to the room where their beloved ones were.
He stopped in front of a jet black door; it had number 834 written in golden letters.
He knocked on the door.
“thanks!” the youngest girl said as he went off.
The door opened and Stef was smoldered by Tom’s chest.
“Hello babe!” The voice of a sweet, yet daring and fierce as a young lion of the man she most loved in the world.
She looked up at those glossy chocolate eyes that made so many cry in devotion.
A tall boy came up from the side.
“And where’s my lil doll?” he asked with an angel like smile.
The young girl smiled as she made her way to her.
They all went into the room and locked the door behind them.
How this all seemed perfect.
Only them, not a fan, not a friend, not anyone from the staff.
They were only Tom and Stef, Bill and Mimi. No pressures, no masks, no worries.
All the smiles that filled the room, making it easier to breath.
Mimi looked out the window where little snowflakes fell down quietly minding their own business, they seemed as little angels falling on to earth begging to be saved.


End of Flashback


Now they had lost ever thing they had ever dreamed of.
They only had each other and even that was vanishing.
How could that be happening?
Anything that could happen, everything that could go wrong had gone.
“Please” she murmured to the skies above her.
Begging the stars for a new beginning would do nothing. And she knew it but still she was there on her knees pleading.


Flashback


The girls woke up in empty beds as they had gotten used to.
The boys waking up for the interviews leaving them alone for another day.
As normal they got up and ready for another day of hiding, of closing their love into t tinny little box so no one could find out.
People passed by them, all anonymous, every single one waiting to be heard.
The girls smiled to each other as they played with their fortune.
The hot sun of Paris gracing their skins.
The girls walked around thru the city when a miraculous vision startled them.
A young man, around their age, walked up to them with a smile like the sun.
The girls blushed as he slowed down his pace as he came closer to the sisters.
“Hey there!” he said slowing his rhythm to stay beside the girls.
“Hey…” Mimi said looking at her hands.
“May I know who you are?” Stef asked not very pleased.
“Oh yeah… I’m Louis!” the boy said with his dazzling smile once again “you’re Stef?” he asked looking at the older sister “and Your Mimi right?” he questioned this time looking at the girl with blond fringe.
“Yeah… How do you know?” Mimi asked confused.
“oh about that… My band and me have been touring with this pretty well known band, and in every city we stop you two are there and even in the same hotel. So like I wanted to ask you if you are like groupies or what?”
Mimi blushed. How could she be a groupie?
“No…” Mimi said in a low yet fierce voice.


End of Flashback


That had been one of those meetings that would change your whole life.
Although it didn’t seem so, just a boy trying to become big with his band.
If they only knew that he would become their best ally.
She looked up once more.
She smiled as she remembered that boys face.

The Shades of Love

Chapter 3: New Beginnings


Flashback


As they walked in they could smell the sweetness of the brand new coffee, the sweet, known sent of chocolate cupcakes.
They made their way to the middle of the little shop where They soon spotted a group of guys talking and laughing in a small circle.
The girls giggled with the anxiety.
All they could think of was the tingling feeling that was growing in their stomachs.
As they slowly approached the corner where the group of boys were laughing, they started to second thought the decision of coming to meet the young rockers.
The boys turned around to see who was approaching their table.
“My baby Brother! I was starting to think you wouldn’t be coming today!” the oldest of the brothers said.
Bill frowned at the baby comment. He hated to be called baby, especially by Tom.
“Finally we see Mr. Birdie arrives!” the young man with long brown hair said in a mocking tone.
“Look who’s talking jungle man!” the younger one replayed.
The boys cracked up laughing.
The girls still behind the tall punk giggled trying not to be so noticeable as normally they were, one dressing like a walking, talking rainbow and the other trying to be a rapper.
The boys only noticed them when a small dark haired waitress came to ask for their orders.
The band members looked at the young girls intrigued.
“Excuse? Do you already know what you would like to drink?” The dark skin young woman asked.
“Yeah… maybe a cup of coffee?” Tom asked looking at the other band members.
“I don’t like coffee…” The black haired sister said.
“ok… how about a soft chocolate and caramel cappuccino for … ?” The older twin asked not finishing the question.
“Yeah!” the girl quickly responded with a smile.
“For me too please.” The girl with the blond bangs asked.
“And me!” Bill said with a bit of a ashamed smile.
“of course! Cause Bill isn’t man enough to drink coffee.” The young man with braids said annoyed, mocking his younger brother.
The boy next to them sat down in one of the big comfy pillows right in the corner of the room.
“may we know who you are?” the blond man sitting next to Tom asked looking at the sisters.
“I’m Mimi and this is my older sister Stef.” The girl said gesturing to her sister with an intoxicating smile.
“ermm… and why are you here?” the guitarist asked.
“Well, Bill kind of asked us if we wanted to come with him.” Stef said looking at her feet trying to hide her light blush.
“well Billy boy over here made a good decision for once in his life!” Tom said laughing, Bill frowning from the slight insult that his brother had just made.
The girl came once more with the drinks.
All happening so fast it almost seemed to blur out of memory, so slow it seemed like time didn’t want to move forward.


End of flashback


She looked at the door that in the death of nigh seemed more cold than ice.
All the life that once passed thru it, was now gone forever.
This now seemed to be uncaring for every feeling she had.
How could all of this have happen from one small event?
All those feeling they had shared now seemed to have disappeared into the air.
She only wished she could go back, back to when there was still something to save.


Flashback


She fell on the bed, her eyes shimmering in true happiness.
The hotness burning thru her white cheeks.
It hadn’t been long since they started to see each other.
Now more than ever she felt like he was the one for her.
She constantly thought of him.
How his cold hands felt against her sun like skin.
She blushed when she so suddenly heard a familiar voice.
“Hello babe!”
A soft smile spread thru her cherry pink lips.
He slowly pressed his lips on her neck.
His cold breath sent her shiver of pleasure thru her body.
His tingly tongue made her moan under her breath.
“Tom…” she silently said.
“What my love?” he asked in a sweet, caressing voice.
“I love you.” She said kissing his lips.
“Love you too.” He said with a charming smile.
They kissed once more sealing their love with unsaid promises.


End of Flashback

The Shades of Love

Chapter 2: The Unknown Sun


Flashback


“Where are you?” the man asked.
“City park…”
“Ok. I’ll meet you there.” The voice said and hung up.
“Weird…”
“What?” Mimi asked.
“Nothing I guess… It looks like the man is going to come and meet us here.”


End of Flashback


One call, just one call had changed everything, changed their whole lives.
All because of a cell phone, such a little object had such a huge effect.
How could have such a meaningless thing do such a powerful result.
Connecting lives, changing futures, realizing impossible dreams.
Now she looked up to the gleaming sky and saw it all.
An occurrence that shouldn’t have happened, still like a dream far out of reach.
She remembered the trees that embraced them that day, the small lake that sang for them.
How things had changed…


Flashback


Mimi and Stef were sitting under the trees.
The shadows of the trees made it pleasurable to be outside.
The breeze that swept thru the leafs making a somewhat musical sound float thru the air.
How all that felt perfect, like time was never going to pass, like they could be there forever.
They day-dreamed of the day they would finally be able to live their imaginings.
They started to hear footsteps on the gravel coming closer and closer.
Although they could clearly hear it, they ignored it.
It couldn’t be anyone they knew, so why even care? They both thought.
“Excuse me…” A known voice said behind them.
It was soft as velvet and sweet as honey.
They gradually turned around, to where for their surprise they saw what it seemed to be a mirage.
They saw a tall, pale and skinny punk. Big shades covered his face and pitch black mohawk raised gloriously on the top of his head.
“How could this be?” Mimi murmured.
“Did any of you lose your mobile phone?” the man with an androgynous look asked.
Stef slowly raised her hand.
“Me…” She said in a chap faded voice.
The boy grabbed a small device from his over sized bag and handed it to the oldest sister.
The girls just sat there still in shock.
The boy looked at them and then around thru the small garden they were in.
He looked a bit embraced, as he was expecting another reaction from the young girls.
As the silence steeled making them all feel somewhat out of place.
The young man thought of polite ways to get out of there.
As much as he knew he had to leave, there was something inside of him that made him want to stay there with the sisters.
Then he felt his phone vibrate inside his back pocket.
He slide the phone to his hand and opened the text.

From: Tom
If u take much longer there will be no donuts left for u
Gustav is eating them like there is no tomorrow

He looked once more at the girls.
“So… Would you like to… like go get a cup of coffee?” The man asked with a weak smile.
Stef shook her head.
“Of course “ The girl said getting up.
Mimi snapped out of her perfect little bubble and also got up.


End of Flashback


All they weren’t expecting suddenly started to happen.
Almost as a play unrolling in front of them, but they were in it.
Stef could only think about that weird, unique, almost uncaring first time.
When their dreams and reality crashed.
The light line of the horizon just like that day.


Flashback


They were walking down the Street with their dream rock star.
As the boy saw it the girls behind him seemed to be different, They were talking and giggling.
They seemed to be funny and bubbly.
The way the summer sun hit them made them seem from another world, from the most perfect dream.
How would he explain to the boys that he had brought some random fans with him?
He didn’t even know the reason why he had done that. Why he felt this urge to be with them, to protect them.
He felt like he already knew.
They walked down to the little coffee shop on the corner of the street.